The Real Reason
by Sasha-038
Summary: Jenny has kept a secret from Gibbs about why she is after La Grenouille. But she's not after Grenouille? Things get pretty interesting... Jibbs.


"And Jethro" she added to the argument as he was walking out. She wanted to have the last words of this and she was about to. "If you think I'm obsessed with La Grenoullie because of what happened to my father, you're wrong."

He stopped dead in his tracks removing his hand from the doorknob before he could leave. "Somethin you wanna tell me?" He walked quickly up to her desk in an intimidating way, but it had no affect on her. She had no reason to be intimidated by him for she was his boss. If anything she should intimidate him, but she had nothing to say.

She didn't answer. She didn't know how to. She had expected him to walk out of the argument like he usually did, not interrogate her. He, of course, took the silence as a yes.

Without an invention he walked quickly behind her desk. He was so close she could feel his hot breath on his neck. She held onto her chair so tightly her knuckles whitened, for she feared if she let go she would crumble into him.

"You aren't after him." He stated. He wasn't sure if it was a statement requesting an answer or a question demanding one. She took a shot in the dark and decided it was requesting an answer, but she granted it with a small nod.

"Who are you after, Jenny?" He asked pushing himself closer to him.

"None of your concern, Special Agent Gibbs."

"None of my concern?! You made it my concern when you sent DiNozzo undercover. You made it my damn concern when you sent Ducky undercover! Your business is my business once you involve my team." He said pulling away from her.

"I'm after his daughter." She said sighing.

"Jeanne Benoit." He said in that statement/question tone.

She shook her head. "His other daughter. Renee Benoit didn't kill my father. His daughter did."

"So you're going to kill Jeanne Benoit's father because you want revenge on her sister?" He asked trying to get it all through his mind.

"Yes." She stated blankly.

"No." He said in equal tone.

"No?" She asked in amusement.

"You're not telling me somethin', Jen. I'm not leaving until you do."

"Jethro, it's the past now."

"Why would Grenoullie's daughter kill your father?" He asked.

"Because he wouldn't take that damn bribe and Benoit needed him to." Her right eye twitched, noticeably.

"No. She didn't kill him."

Jenny sighed effortlessly. She didn't know what to do anymore. She couldn't tell him another lie. But there was no way in hell she could tell him the truth.

"You have one more chance, Jen. I want the truth and nothing but it or I walk out of here and don't come back. I will pull DiNozzo off of this case. And when you come crying to me for help, I will kick you under the table like if you were an ex-wife." He threatened.

"You can't do that. DiNozzo is my agent."

He made eye contact with her and she read his mind through the shiny blue ovals. His look was smug showing a bit of 'try me' and a bit more of 'I mean it.'

She gulped. 'Tell him the truth... just avoid little... details.' She thought to herself. "Okay... Renee Benoit came to my father with a bribe. He didn't take it. He killed himself, Jethro and I have no clue in hell why, but he did it, and I accept it."

"You are doing all of this for nothing!?" He yelled.

"What did you kill Pedro Hernandez for? I'm pretty sure it wasn't self defense!" she snapped harshly.

"That's different and you know it!"

"How is it different, Jehtro?! Give me a reason!"

"He took everything from me!"

"My daughter was everything to me and this bastard's daughter murdered her right in front of me!" She shouted. As soon as she realized what she said she shut her eyes tightly and brought her hand to her mouth wishing there was some way she could take it back. He quieted not sure what to say.

"Get out." She whispered. It wasn't a soft feminine whisper. It was more the whisper of a murderer, filled with anger and pain.

He couldn't move. He may of lost Kelly but she had lost her little girl. He regretted not being there to save them. She had to watch it happen. She was there and she couldn't do anything.

"Get out of my office, now." She spoke in a tone higher then a whisper but not as loud as she usually did. Rage filled her eyes but she refused to let hers match with his.

"Special Agent Gibbs... I told you to leave." She said.

"Yeah, I heard you." He responded.

She bit her lip to keep from saying something she would regret. He was testing her, and she was surly failing.

"What was her name?" He whispered.

She broke. She didn't even see it coming. Her legs gave out first, and she was forced to grab onto the desk to keep from falling. Her restraint collapsed, a single tear falling down her cheek. She knew many more were coming. If you let one go you've practically agreed to cry your eyes out. "GO!" She screamed, but again he didn't listen.

He walked around the desk to support her but she pulled away from him like he was a deadly illness. Another tear left her eyes and she wiped it away angrily, but to her dismay another one fell to take its place.

He grabbed onto her and pulled her closer to him. "It's okay to cry, Jen. Don't have any rules against that."

Again, she pulled away from him, pushing him away from her and moving to the opposite side of her desk. "Leave."

"You're afraid of me." He stated. "I'm the only one who can break down these walls you hide behind." He began to move around the desk.

"Stop following me!" She shouted childishly.

"What happened Jenny?" He asked. Hearing him say her name with such care and softness made her give out completely. If he hadn't caught her, she would've smacked the floor. He wasn't supposed to know. Ever.

He was never ever supposed to find out.

"I left... and then I found out I was pregnant..." she mumbled under her breath. "I was going to tell you the day after she was born."

"She was mine?" He asked.

"Blue eyes shined brighter than the stars." She remembered the newborn's bright blue eyes and reddish brown hair. "I had just given birth. I was exhausted. A nurse came in, told me I had a beautiful little girl. I smiled at her." She paused.

He squeezed her hand lightly letting her know it was okay now.

"But her eyes were... cold and her smile back was... wicked..." she choked on her tears as he held her closer. He had no idea she had felt so much pain before.

"She picked up my baby and a scalpel and she... she..." Jenny couldn't get the last words out.

"Shhhh" he hissed softly. "It's okay, Jen." He pulled her face against his shoulder as she cried.

It took a long, long time, but once she had calmed down a little he decided to try to dig for some extra information. "What was her name?" He asked.

"She didn't have one. I wanted you to uh... name her with me." She said it with a small smile. But when I buried her I called her Claire. Claire Shepard-Gibbs."

He nodded, pulling her head into his shoulder again as more tears left her eyes. "I know how hard it is... losing a daughter." he whispered

"I was right there and I didn't do a thing! I just watched... I thought she was a nurse and she was a murderer! A child killer! My gut should've told me that! I let my guard down and she put a knife in my daughter! She relied on me Jethro! She needed me! I was supposed to protect her! That's what mothers are supposed to do and I failed. I failed at being an agent, a girlfriend, a mother, and now a director."

"Not your fault." Three simple words that she had been wanting to hear for years left his lips. She shuddered at the warmth around her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He whispered.

"You... you... I... You lost Kelly already and I-"

"You didn't know about Shannon and Kelly."

"I didn't want to force you into anything. I didn't leave because I was pregnant and I knew you wouldn't understand why I left. I mean things changed... I didn't want you to think I stopped loving you... and then started again because we had a baby. It was all so sudden. And then she died. There was no harm done. Why should I tell you if it would only hurt you?"

"You gonna kill Grenoullie?" He asked.

"No. I'm going to kill his deadbeat daughter."

"That means you're causing him the pain he caused you."

She hesitated fiddling with her hair, pulling away from him slightly. "Yes... but... Jethro. No way in hell I'm letting that bitch live."

"No. You're going to send her to prison where she belongs."

"Like you did with Hernandez?"

"That was the biggest mistake of my life. I wasn't a victim anymore. Jen, I was a cold blooded killer when I pulled that trigger. I became the monsters I put in jail everyday. I can't watch you go through that. Do your job right, Jen. You didn't fail at being Director and you don't have to. You show me that keaving was the right choice and you won't fail at being a girlfriend either every day you can laugh at her through the bars."

She stopped crying, and the room became silent. Jenny had her bottom lip trapped between her teeth and she was biting it forcefully, ejecting blood. She had to make a choice now, that would effect the rest of her life.

"Okay." She said at last.


End file.
